What does Authoritarian Parenting mean? And what does a strict upbringing look like in everyday life? Many of us have probably experienced an authoritarian style of upbringing.
This style is characterized by obedience, discipline, and high standards. Well, to know more about what it is, make sure you read all below.
The authoritarian parenting style is characterized by a large part of the activities determined by the educator or the parents, also characterized by an extreme power structure, which the parents also signal to the child accordingly.
Strict, many rules, high expectations, rewards, and punishment characterize this style of upbringing.
The child is directed in his behavior and thinking, according to the ideas of the adult. Often commands and orders are given to the child.
If the child does not promptly listen to the instructions, there is a risk of penalties and consequences.
The needs of the children are ignored and those of the parents are placed above them.
Parents have little respect for the needs and desires of the children, as they mostly tell them what to do.
Often when the child is brought up in an authoritarian manner, they are reprimanded and censured. So there is a clear hierarchical structure and the child is subordinate to the adults.
With this style of upbringing, authoritarian parents place high demands on their children and give them little emotional support.
Due to the strict rules and commands given, the child has no opportunity to develop healthy self-esteem.
The characteristics of the authoritarian parenting style are as follows :
- the parent gives orders
- the parent determines the children’s activities
- the parent praises and rebukes
- the parent works with threats and intimidation
- the parent takes responsibility
- The parents determine the children’s activities.
- The authorities praise and blame.
- Threats and intimidation are used.
- The parents give orders.
- the children don’t know what’s next
- The children are treated in a friendly but very impersonal way.
The positive aspects of the authoritarian parenting style are quite manageable. Of course, authoritarian aspects are necessary for the upbringing of your children. After all, your child must learn to deal with figures of authority later in life as well.
So, up to a point, authoritarian upbringing makes perfect sense.
In some daily situations, in raising your children, it will be appropriate to reprimand or punish them as well. But always question whether the reprimand or punishment really aims at the child’s best interests, or whether your own interests also play a role.
Whenever you criticize your child, make it clear over and over again that you are not criticizing your child’s personality, only their behavior.
The effects of the authoritarian parenting style on the child could be a limitation of creativity and spontaneity, as the parents dictate a large part of the activities.
Authoritarian parents do not encourage their children’s independence through this style of upbringing.
Children who are brought up in an authoritarian manner may engage in aggressive behavior, e.g. B. against the weaker, show. If the needs and desires of the children are not perceived, aggression can be a kind of “ cry for help ” for attention. Egocentric speech behavior (I, my, me, me) can also often be observed in children raised in this way, as they imitate these speech styles of their parents.
The effects of the authoritarian parenting style are unpredictable. An authoritarian upbringing can have a negative impact on children in many ways, but the real consequences depend on various factors. This includes, for example, the strictness of upbringing or the sensitivity of children.
Some children are just more sensitive and react accordingly more strongly to an authoritarian upbringing style.
The effects of the authoritarian parenting style are very diverse. In summary, the following difficulties can arise:
- It is not possible for the child to develop on their own.
- The parents prevent the child from making decisions and making mistakes.
- Children can hardly live out their creativity.
- Children may become aggressive more quickly.
- The offspring remains submissive and lacks self-confidence.
- The children’s decision-making power cannot develop.
- The development of feelings is impaired.
How can you imagine authoritarian behavior in everyday life? Parents take full control of their children and do not allow their own wishes:
Summer is just around the corner. Susan (7) goes to buy sandals with her mom. On the way there, Susan asks if she can choose the color of the clothes this time. Her mother hardly responds to this and replies: “You know that we always wear blue clothes.” Susan tries to get her mother to rethink: “But red is my favorite color.” Her mother starts scolding: “I don’t feel like discussing everything with you all the time. You’re only seven, I decide what color the clothes are. And if you don’t stop now, we’ll turn around.” Susan is sad and starts to cry. Her mother continued to scold: “Stop crying.”
Are Strict Parents Still Better Parents?
Children learn by imitation: They take over the communication structure of their parents and deal with younger children accordingly.
Aggressive behavior is often the result. It can also turn into the exact opposite and children of strict parents are completely intimidated and have no self-confidence.
In any case, science agrees that authoritarian education is no longer up to date and has had its day.
Education at eye level and with love is in! Punishments and threats do not allow a healthy relationship between parents and children. Children only act to avoid punishment. In doing so, they cannot develop themselves and also do not learn what may be wrong with their behavior.
Experts even acknowledge that the supporters of authoritarian upbringing fail. Because children who are oppressed try to break free and rebel. The children move further and further away from their parents.
The term “anti-authoritarian”, which has now given way to terms such as democratic, liberal, or emancipatory, is understood to be the educational method that proceeds without constraints and promotes the self-development of each individual.
The anti-authoritarian style of upbringing is intended to serve as a counterpoint to authoritarian parenting.
Roughly speaking, children are given a fairly free hand so that they can freely develop their personality and self-confidence, as well as creativity and community skills.
The child seldom hears a “no” and basically decides according to the pleasure principle.
Unfortunately, this term was misunderstood by some parents and they said they had to raise their children without limits, which gave birth to a generation of “boorish egoists” that gave anti-authoritarian upbringing its current bad reputation.
Critics say children couldn’t develop contact skills and self-confidence because these were totally suppressed. This generates aggressive and/or submissive feelings in children. Yet this method of education was carried out in almost every household.
Children who already enjoyed an anti-authoritarian upbringing at that time were seen as ‘chaotic’ and ‘wild’, but it can be noted that these people developed far more creativity and self-confidence in adulthood than people of the same age who were conventional were subject to authoritarian educational methods.
The advantages of the anti-authoritarian parenting style are as follows :
- Equality is another cornerstone.
- Children are brought up freely in an anti-authoritarian upbringing.
- Children learn to take responsibility.
- Children are not helpless beings to whom everything has to be explained.
The concept of anti-authoritarian upbringing does not mean bringing up children without limits.
If there are no boundaries, there is a risk that these children will become very selfish and refuse to accept boundaries, including those of others.
These children do not learn to deal with negative emotions, respond to other people, empathize with them, or show consideration.
Other disadvantages are:
- Having no rules may seem desirable at first glance.
- Young children cannot yet make decisions about their own lives.
- Consideration is another social skill that many children lack.
- Many teachers and educators complain that dealing with anti-authoritarian children is hardly possible.
- the parent does not force the children to do anything
- the parent makes offers and suggestions
- the parent is friendly and appreciative towards the children
- the parent works with clear rules and boundaries that are known but do not restrict self-development
- the parent is allowed to take responsibility themselves and is responsible for their decisions
Not everything that constitutes anti-authoritarian education is bad, however. Children are perceived here as free individuals. They have their own wishes and needs and they are allowed to live them out.
Most educators today assume that children need certain rules. They regulate social interaction and children later integrate better into society.
It is therefore not surprising that the structures and content of anti-authoritarian education are the basis for democratic education. How you want to raise your children is a very personal decision. Be sure to discuss this with your partner. There is no such thing as an objective right or wrong.
Thank you for reading.