How to make children listen better? It would be very nice if your child always listens to you. That seems wonderful to me! It would prevent a lot of frustration, but listening is more difficult than it seems.
No child always listens and even adults often don’t listen. We like to determine things ourselves. So are our children. However, children still have a lot to learn and we as parents want to help them with that.
Make children listen better
How can you teach your children to listen better? Below I give tips that you can use to make your children listen better.
1. Set a good example yourself
Listen to your child yourself. Children learn a lot from the example they are given. Especially from you as a father or mother. They look up to you and copy your behavior.
So start listening to your child yourself. Try to stop what you are doing and listen carefully to what your child is really saying.
2. State the desired behavior
Name the behavior you’d like to see from your child, instead of saying what you don’t want to see. That is clearer for children and more positive.
For example, instead of ” don’t run!” you can say: “ walk quietly on the stairs”.
Before giving the assignment or asking a question, make contact with your child.
Walk up to your child, tap him or her or say his or her name. Wait for your assignment or question until you have contact. Put a positive spin on the connection by thanking your child once you connect.
Do this before you submit your question or assignment. For example by saying: “ Thank you for listening” or “ Thank you for looking at me”.
Explain why your child needs to do something. By explaining why your child should do, he understands why it is important.
In addition, it works well to explain what it means for your child to do what you say. This works better and feels nicer than threatening.
For example, say, ” You should brush your teeth every day so you don’t get cavities.” Or “If you hurry now, there will still be time for an (extra) story.”
Children then understand what is expected of them and why. Your child also knows the short-term benefit for himself (in this example: that there is more time for a story).
5. Be specific
State as clearly as possible what you expect from your child. ‘Tightly’, ‘sometimes’ or ‘maybe’ is vague for children.
It creates insecurity in your child, so that he will ask the same thing over and over again or will not listen. The more precise you are, the better children know what you mean and where they stand.
6. Talk at eye level
Speak at eye level when giving your child a clue or correction. This makes a child feel less intimidated. This works especially well if your child is sensitive to authority. You then have equal contact.
Talk to your child at eye level – listen
7. What’s behind it?
See why your child is not listening. What makes listening difficult? Is the rule or command too unclear? Is your child tired? Is he or she hungry or thirsty?
If we ourselves are too tired or hungry, we can no longer listen. So neither does your child.
If a child doesn’t listen, he usually won’t because he doesn’t want to listen. A child wants you to be proud of him. So try to help your child listen.
Good luck applying the tips! Don’t stop till you really make your children listen well.