Build a Relationship : The romantic fantasy we have about love is in fact a substitute for intimacy—real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.
So how do we keep our relationships good and we’re happy?
We should start by understanding what pure love is and then redefine and update the romantic fairy tale into a healthy relationship with love for each other.
How to Build a Relationship ?
In this article, we’ll discuss ten ways to build a relationship, create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship.
1. Use relationships to teach you how to feel complete inside
Relationships are not about making someone else complete you, but about making the relationship strong and sharing your life together.
By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and ‘becoming one’, learn to love the distances in a relationship as much as being together.
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2. See who your partner really is
The romantic tragedy occurs when you see the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, kind of an idea of them actually.
When you realize that you know your partner more often than not, you begin to discover who they are and how they also change and evolve.
3. Be willing to learn from each other
The most important thing is to be able to see the other as a mirror and to learn from that reflection. Learn by watching the other person how you can be a better person.
If you’re feeling upset, instead of blaming and pointing the finger at your partner, notice that something in yourself needs to be healed.
4. Learn It’s Okay To Be Alone
To accept that love cannot save you from being alone, you must first learn to spend time with yourself.
By feeling safe and secure when you are alone, you will feel more complete, happier, and fulfilled.
5. Find out why a fight arises
Some couples create a distance by arguing and then making it up over and over. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy.
If you become aware of what scares you about intimacy, you will have a better idea of why you keep arguing and probably less and less arguing.
6. Accept yourself
In general, we understand romantic love because we long for something beyond our reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess ourselves.
When we finally get love, unfortunately, we find that we didn’t get what we were really looking for.
You will only find true love by loving yourself first. You can only receive something from someone else if you are willing to give something yourself.
After the fairytale start of a relationship is over, we discover that it actually becomes quite common and we often do everything we can to avoid it.
The trick is to see that mundaneness can become the main ‘ingredient’ of intimacy.
The everyday beauty of sharing life with a partner can be extraordinary.
8. Open your heart and find the good in yourself
One thing that unites us is that we all desire to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way.
To create true intimacy, you need to get in touch with the space you have for it in your heart and open up to it.
It is easier to recognize the good in your partner when you are connected to the good in yourself.
9. Focus on giving love
True happiness isn’t about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us; it’s more about how much we can love ourselves and others.
The unintended result of loving others more is that we are loved more.
10. Let go of your expectations
Maybe you’re looking for things like romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will cause immediate suffering.
If you subconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways in order to avoid having to give that love to yourself, you will associate your sense of security with being with someone else.
Use your own inner resources to be able to give yourself love, attention, and nurturing when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of having expectations of what it should look like.
These are just a few ways to build a relationship and discover true intimacy. How do you create a loving connection in your relationship?